Boy, I can pick ’em.

That's something we can all be proud of.

That’s something we can all be proud of.

Looking at the local news reports in my home town today I discovered not 1, not 2, but 4 EX BOYFRIENDS of mine plain as day in the news!

The first one was in for meth, theft, battery and DWI.

The second beat a 2year old within inches of his life resulting in skull fractures.

The third was accused of raping and beating a woman right on the street.

and last but not least number 4 beat the crap out of his girlfriend

.. All of these guys- EXCEPT for #1- were generally good to me, never laid a hand on me and I thought they were great guys. Well, I was wrong or maybe they were and people just change. Who really knows? I’m just glad they are behind bars where no one else can get hurt!

I also found out that another ex boyfriend passed away a couple months ago! He was in a car accident, we didn’t date long, but I hope he is in a better place! R.I.P. Jerry!

So, why do we date the people we date? What is love? is it even real?
Most likely you started dating the person you’re with because of one main reason, THEY’RE HOT! Occasionally you’ll hear “Well, ___ is just so funny” or “I felt bad for him.” Hey, it’s just dating at this point so no, it’s not terrible to want to date someone who’s physically attractive to see where it leads you, but once that person becomes an EX, get the hell out of dodge!They are an ex for a reason, please keep in mind the definition of insanity:

“doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.”

I don’t care if he buys you stuff, or Johnny couldn’t keep it in his pants because “SHE kissed HIM first..” HELLO LADIES! Stop making the rest of us look like dumb helpless women. OK? If he touches you once in an unwelcome manner pull up those big girl panties and go to the police. If he cheats on you, he’ll do it again. end of story. Now I got side tracked, where were we? oh right, exes…

Crazy Exes are the WORST! Ya know, the guys who drive by your house at night to see if anyone else is there, the ones who call and text you constantly or show up on your door step bawling like a baby? I mean c’mon guys, of course we’ll take you back, there’s nothing like a blubbering grown man with snot dripping from his nose, we just can’t resist it!  -not. OH! OH! how about the ones that say “if I can’t have you no-one will.” and they proceed to scratch your name on a bullet which they place strategically on your windshield of your car.  oh shit maybe that one’s just me. THANK YOU #1!! *eye roll* I’m pretty bad at this game. Or there are always the ones that think they are in tighter with your family than you are, so they call up your grandma, mom, sister, brother, or dad to tell them what a slut you are and granny rips them a new asshole. 😛

I guess the bottom line here is: leave your exes where they belong, IN THE PAST. No one wants a repeat of a break up. Oh and if you have kids keep them away from my #2 up  there. Also, you never really know anyone, don’t move in together right away – ESPECIALLY if you have kids!!- If he hits you once, the end, you deserve better, your mama didn’t bring you into this world to be a punching bag!

And the most important thing here, BACKGROUND CHECK! or google their full name. I don’t care how long you’ve known them, keep in mind I have known all of these guys since I was 12 and would never have guessed they’d beat up their kids/wives. If they are crazy, you might not know until it’s too late.

DUN DUN DUN, enjoy those nightmares tonight 😛

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