A Troubled Past: Adolescence and Fatal Attractions. PT1


*names have been changed

At 15 years old I had been through more than a lot of people ever deal with in their lives. I was looking for a boyfriend, one that would protect me and help me overcome the fear of all men. It was at this point I met Chad*. I thought he was exactly what I needed. He was fairly tall, and drop dead gorgeous. His walk alone demonstrated his dominance. He had thick dark hair that was cut in a way that allowed him to spike up the very front, He had a beautiful sparkling white smile and his his bright green eyes were set back a ways under his brow, giving him a look of something so dangerously beautiful. He dressed kind of preppy as I would have put it. He wore expensive polo shirts and the stylish ripped/faded blue jeans that fit his sculpted butt perfectly. I knew he was trouble the moment I laid eyes on him but I couldn’t help myself. I was dating another boy in school at the time, one of chads friends who was almost his complete opposite. Ian* was just a little taller than me, very slim, and wore his black hair quite shaggy in the popular “emo” hair cut. He usually dressed in black, but he wasn’t “goth” or “emo” he just liked the color. He had small blueish grey eyes and they were absolutely stunning. Ian was my friend before we dated and had introduced me to some of his music, he was kind and respectful, and he rarely had a bad thing to say about anyone and no one ever had a bad thing to say about him. Had I met him back in the 8th grade we would probably have looked like a perfect pair, but this was highschool and I had put some of the weight back on. I wore skirts and pink shirts, heels, the works. I was the ultimate sell out as far as my style had gone, but I remained friends with my somewhat awkward social group.

I really liked Ian, he was laid back and just a genuine guy. He played video games, listened to music of all kinds and walked me to every class if he could make it in time. Part of me wanted it to work out, the other part thought of him as just a friend and I caught myself checking out other guys most of the time. I remember the day I officially met Chad, I had thought about how it would go since freshman year always admiring him from afar and never having the guts to say hello. Ian and I were eating lunch at the top of the stairs when Chad and their other friend, Ryan* came up. I damn near choked on my sandwich when I saw them. Ryan was god-like. He was a hippie-looking guy, long blonde hair that I couldn’t help but be jealous of, perfect teeth and big brown eyes. Let’s be clear here, I have never been into guys with long hair, or hippies for that matter or blondes, but this creature was exquisite and built to be a calvin klein model. I shivered just looking up at the two of them, then adverted my eyes to my boyfriend, Ian. How were these gods and Ian such good friends? Ian wasn’t bad looking by any means, but he was no calvin klein model.

“missy? hellllooooo”

I barely heard the words come out of Ian’s mouth over my own pulse beating in my ears.

“this is Chad, and this is Ryan, I don’t think you have met them yet. They are coming over tonight to play C.O.D. but I will still try to call you okay?”

“no problem, have fun with your…..friends” I dared to smile up at them and choked as I said the last word. Ian smiled and said something along the lines of “isn’t she the best girlfriend ever?” he hugged me and gave me a peck on the cheek before heading off to his next class chatting wildly with the two most gorgeous guys I had ever laid eyes on. Chad looked back and winked at me while I heard Ryan say “and she’s fine too! I’d tap that.” well if Ryan wasn’t so gorgeous he probably would have lost my interest entirely with that statement.

“hey good lookin”

I turned to see one of my best friends Todd* come up behind me. I told him about my encounter with the gods in the flesh and he laughed at me as I recalled the pair right down to how they smelled.

“That’s cool, I’m thinkin you and Ian should probably just break it off as friends before you ruin your friendship. Ryan’s a cool guy, smokes a lot of bud though but he’s pretty chill. Chad on the other hand.. watch out for him, he’s a douche.”

I should have listened to Todd, but of course, I didn’t, I just couldn’t resist.

Later that evening Ian called to check in and tell me he was having a good time playing video games and I told him my neighbor and I were going to the home football game.

“Slap Chad for me will ya? he bailed to hang out with some chick at the game tonight” I laughed, I was a little nervous and excited to see Chad again, a little disappointed he was going to meet up with a girl, and a little guilty for feeling that way when I had such a sweet boyfriend. Ian told me to check my email before I left and to call him if I wanted to. I didn’t think anything of it, I ran the straightener through my hair a couple more times and put on a little extra lip gloss then sat at the computer to check my email.

dear marisa,

I am so very sorry to do this this way, but I don’t know what I would do if I’m wrong and you were upset. I think we both like each other a lot, but maybe not

like a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I think we should break up and just be friends. I do want to thank you though, for showing me how a girl should actually treat

her boyfriend and for being so amazing these last few weeks. There is nothing wrong with you or anything, I think your hot and all, but I think we just had more

going for us as friends. I hope you aren’t mad and that we are okay. call me if you want to.


I laughed out loud and felt like a huge weight had just been lifted. He felt the same way! That’s just great! Most girls would be heartbroken to have such a nice guy break up with them, but Ian was right we were better as friends, he was cute and I was attracted to him, but not in a way that screamed hey he’s going to father your children. I took a moment to email him back, I knew how annoyed he got when his game was interrupted. I simply thanked him for doing it via email rather than making our phone conversation more awkward than it needed to be. I told him I was not upset with him at all and that he was right, we were better off as friends. Smiling, I put on my hoodie checked my make up again and ran out the door to head to the football game. With my guilty feelings gone, I was fired up and ready to take on Chad.

To be continued in ” A Troubled Past: Adolescence and Fatal Attractions. PT2″…………………………….

If you have missed out on the story you can see the most recent previous post in the link below.


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